Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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