I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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