so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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