so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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