We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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