youre lurking in front of me
from now on my penis is your penis
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
