I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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