And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
