Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
