their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
