So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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