I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
NoShamevember. You game?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
