I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
