As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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