Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
