I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
