you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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