Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
