I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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