don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
