porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I didn't notice because vodka
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
