It was confusing and full of hummus
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize