she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
