Girls should come with a carfax report
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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