I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
