You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
