why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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