North Korea, Best Korea!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize