i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize