Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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