I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
