Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
