Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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