I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
