Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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