Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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