Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
