This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
