I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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