her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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