i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
