I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
