this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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