Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's the barista slut.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
