We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
