in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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