Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
