I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
