ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
