Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
