Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
