She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
