I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize