I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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