i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pants are for mortals
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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