at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize