After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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