just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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