Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
