Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
