I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
