I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
