Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
