the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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