I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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