Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
