You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
