I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
