Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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