I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
